


Jealous

by MusicIsMyTherapy (Babaylan_Mama)



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:53:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27353014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babaylan_Mama/pseuds/MusicIsMyTherapy
Summary: Julie is left to pick up the pieces after the boys cross over.AU
Relationships: Julie Molina & Luke Patterson, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 20
Kudos: 81





	Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> 1st fanfic ever! I was just so moved by this story and can't wait to see what other stories they will tell with (hopefully) season 2. I love this song Jealous by Labrinth. But the song that inspired this fanfic was sung by Davina Michelle (you an find on spotify)
> 
> Please be kind. I couldn't get this story out of my head.

**Julie’s POV**  
She didn’t want this day to come. It had been a year and a half since her boys had crossed over. Since he crossed over. She remembers the memories they shared, The memories that Luke and her shared as she walked towards the studio. The memories flood into her mind as she gets to the studio door:

 ** _Flashback_**  
They were all in the studio creating new music as they became the headlining band for the Orpheum after their performance. Agents called them, but they decided to just be a band for the Orpheum because how would they explain that they were ghosts playing with a lifer? Plus Julie still had one more year of school until she graduated. Reggie went to go hang out with Carlos and Ray as Alex went on a date with Willie. Julie was sitting on the piano bench as Luke sat down by her. They looked at each other and he took her hand in his, “Julie I have something to tell you,” he whispered.

“You can tell me anything Luke, you know that,” she states holding his eyes with her own.

“I..I..Like you.” he said shyly with a small smile creeping at his lips. He looked at her and searched her eyes for an answer, confirmation that she too was feeling the same, but he couldn’t read her eyes.

She looked at him, with eyes of love, but guarded. She felt him slowly let go of her hands and was about to turn away when she stated, “Luke, I. I…”

“I’m sorry Julie, I know it’s so sudden and I know that this between us can never truly happen because I’m a ghost and all, but I just wanted you to know I like you, hell I love you. I can’t even hide it anymore. But I can see that you don’t feel the same and just forget I said it,” he stammered out looking defeated as he stood a foot away from her.

“Luke,” the way she said his name was filled with so much love as she grabbed his hands and took them in hers. “I love you too,” she stated as she saw the glint in his eyes and love radiating between them. He brushed a curl away from her face and asked permission with his eyes, which Julie just nodded with a small smile on her face and he kissed her. Softly at first and then she deepened it by grabbing the back of his head to bring him closer to her. It was her first kiss and it felt magical and surprisingly soft and warm. She would always remember that kiss and the many kisses afterwards from Luke.

_**End of Flashback** _

She is jolted back to reality as she opens up the studio. It is the first time back in it as the memories flooded her with happiness, love, loss, pain and most importantly heartbreak. The studio was like a time capsule for all of them. It was here that she first met them, it was here that she shared a first kiss with Luke, it was here that they told each other that they loved one another and it is here that they loved each other. She walked towards the piano and she felt her hands tremble, similar to the last time she played after he left her.

**_Flashback_ **

Julie and Luke were cuddling on the couch holding on to each other as he comforted her after Alex and Reggie had crossed over. She cried softly in his arms holding on to him as he was her lifeline, knowing that it was any time now when he too would leave her. She looked up at him, eyes bloodshot from crying all day. He looked down at her and kissed her softly.

“I’m not leaving you Julie, if I can help it,” he states matter of factly, but his eyes hold sadness in them.

“I know I can’t,” she starts as she breaks down into sobs in his arms. She looks up at him “I know that you’re gonna leave me too, but is it selfish of me to want you here with me, forever?” she asked him as tears welled up in his eyes threatening to spill, looking at her. He held her close and she tried to calm herself down as much as she could knowing full well that their story would end soon. That night she remembered the way they loved each other and held each other as if they knew it would be their last.

She woke up in the middle of the night and watched him sleeping next to her. She breathed in his scent keeping that memory of him close to her heart. She looked at him peacefully sleeping and took memory of his face, every line and curvature. She loved him with all of her heart and she knew that he was going to leave her soon. So she smiled at him with sad eyes and tears slowly falling on her face and onto him. She kissed him softly and laid her head down back onto his chest. She whispered into his chest, where his heart would've been, “I love you Luke and I want you to always know that. I know you’re only holding on for me, but I know you’ve been ready to cross over for awhile now. I’ll be okay I promise. Thank you for showing me what love is and what it is like to be loved.” She slowly fell asleep as he pulled her in closer to him, remembering him saying “I love you so much Julie,” before sleep took over her.

_**End of flashback** _

  
Julie breathed in as she took out the lyrics of a song she had started writing the past week. It was new to her because she had stopped writing after Luke left her. Her heart so broken after he had left the last night they were together. She had promised him that she would be okay, but she wasn’t. She only said those words to him because she knew he was waiting to hear that from her. She was the only reason that he had stayed longer than he was supposed to. She was the one keeping him from crossing over. That night she finally accepted the fact that he had to go, but she wasn’t prepared for the pain that followed after. The feeling of loneliness and heartbreak consuming her after he left.

_**Flashback** _

Julie awoke to find herself alone in the studio. She called out for Luke, but she knew he was no longer there. That he had crossed over last night. She couldn’t hold the tears any longer and her body wracked with sobs, pain that she had never felt before. The love of her life was gone and she didn’t know what to do, except cry.

_**End of flashback** _

Julie started playing the melody and slowly started singing the song she wrote for Luke.

_I'm jealous of the rain_   
_That falls upon your skin_   
_It's closer than my hands have been_   
_I'm jealous of the rain_   
_I'm jealous of the wind_   
_That ripples through your clothes_   
_It's closer than your shadow_   
_Oh, I'm jealous of the wind_

Julie cried softly, but continued playing, even if her voice was cracking with soft sobs. She had come to the studio to finally let Luke rest and know that she was doing better, still missing him, but she was getting better and writing again. She continued singing her song for him.

_I wished you the best of_   
_All this world could give_   
_And I told you when you left me_   
_There's nothing to forgive_   
_But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was_   
_Heartbreak and misery_   
_It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way_   
_You're happy without me_

She hated writing that last line, but it was how she felt. She always questioned if Luke was happy without her since he crossed over. It hurt her to think these things of him, but it was a way for her to cope with losing him. She wanted him to be happy of course, she loved him. To cross over and be reunited with his boys and family. She was jealous of them being able to have him when she couldn’t. And that word and feeling, Jealous, was how this song came about.

_I'm jealous of the nights_   
_That I don't spend with you_   
_I'm wondering who you lay next to_   
_Oh, I'm jealous of the nights_   
_I'm jealous of the love_   
_Love that wasn't here_   
_Gone for someone else to share_   
_Oh, I'm jealous of the love, cause_

_I wished you the best of_   
_All this world could give_   
_And I told you when you left me_   
_There's nothing to forgive_   
_But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was_   
_Heartbreak and misery_   
_It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way_   
_You're happy without me_

She is brought back to a memory that she hadn’t remembered until she came into the studio. She had felt robbed of not seeing him one last time before he left her. But sitting on the piano bench, singing his song, a memory rushed back to her.

 _ **Flashback  
**_  
Julie shifted her arms around Luke. She woke slowly when she felt him drawing patterns on her back with his calloused fingertips. She stirred in his arms before looking up at him with swollen eyelids from a day of crying, mourning her other bandmates, friends, family. She saw a bright light encasing Luke, similar to the night that she hugged him for the first time. “Luke,” she whispered as he slowly laid her down on the futon. He crouched down so he could look at her face. She looked directly into his eyes and knew that it was time for him to leave. They spoke without words and he gave her a smile and a soft kiss on the lips.

“I love you Julie, always remember that,” he told her as tears ran down his face.

She relished in the kiss and felt warmth encasing her. “I love you too Luke,” she said as she drifted back to sleep.

**_End of Flashback_ **

She had always wondered why this verse was something she wrote absentmindedly, but being back in the studio, she remembered why.

_As I sink in the sand_   
_Watch you slip through my hands_   
_Oh, as I die here another day_   
_Cause all I do is cry behind this smile_

She paused as she remembered the last time she saw him. She softly cries, the feelings rushing over her. She took a breath and braced herself to finish her song for Luke. She sang the last verse with all the love she had for Luke. It was her final goodbye to him. To let him rest and to forgive herself for not keeping her promise to Luke.

_I wished you the best of_   
_All this world could give_   
_And I told you when you left me_   
_There's nothing to forgive_   
_But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was_   
_Heartbreak and misery_   
_It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way_   
_You're happy without me_

She sat at the piano sobbing quietly for a while. Letting the song linger in the room around her. She hadn’t sung a song in a year and a half. She couldn’t because it hurt too much without him there. She slowly got up and looked up with the last few tears in her eyes “I love you Luke.”

She walked to the door and smelled a familiar scent that she hadn’t smelled since the last night she was in here. Her mind was playing tricks on her and she brushed it off as remnants of him here as this was his space, their space. She went to open the door and was blinded by the sunlight, as she saw a person at the door, she couldn’t really see his face due to the sun, but her body stilled and her breath caught in her throat.

“Luke?” she softly stated as blackness was the last thing she saw.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope yalls liked it! I'm not sure if I will write more on this, but this is a one shot. I might continue if I have a chance. This story just kept playing in my mind when I listened to this song.


End file.
